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Dot writes: parenting a small baby is really easy and really difficult both at the same time. It’s like constantly trying to do the same very simple jigsaw, only the pieces keep changing slightly in size and shape and you have to fit them together in exactly the right order. Should we change before the feed or between breasts? (Is he going to take both breasts or fall asleep/lose interest after just one?) Should we wait a bit before the change so as to avoid peeing in the air or immediate refilling of the nappy, or does that risk him falling asleep in which case we’ll either have to wake him up (wrong) or leave him dirty (also wrong)? Should I shower now while he seems quiet or is he going to become fretful and feel I’ve abandoned him? How long will this particular sleep last?

To complicate matters, Prawn is not of course limited to eating, sleeping and pooing. He is not a problem that we have to solve but a person that we have to care for. We play with him and cuddle him and talk to him. I make a point of spending some time each day making funny noises and smiling at him and mimicking his expressions; I would do it anyway, but I’m also doing it in consciousness that this is what you’re supposed to do to teach your child basic social interaction, a kind of rudimentary conversation. I know one shouldn’t, but I can’t help having in mind the milestones of social development that Prawn is supposed to be reaching and worrying that he’s not reaching them. When it comes to feeding he’s a natural; we had very few problems establishing breastfeeding, we both love it, and he’s growing like a baby seal. He’s also pretty strong, though not remarkable in motor skills: he can lift his head 45 degrees when lying on his front and he can push off with his legs so vigorously he can almost take his own weight. But, alas, it seems that smile I reported a few posts ago was a fluke. All the smiles I’ve seen since seemed more like wind. What to Expect says 5-7 weeks or by two months for the first smile so we’re not quite late (seven weeks old tomorrow), but I can’t help feeling a certain pressure of worry sensibly pushed aside but not really going away. Prawn will look at us, sometimes steadily, but when I think I’m being particularly engaging he’ll just lose interest and stare over my shoulder. His expression tends to be serious or wondering and not especially mobile. I mimic him but he doesn’t mimic back, or if he does not in such a way I’m sure he means it.

Ken and I got really depressed about this on Christmas Eve, which was a bad day in Prawnland. He fed extremely often, breaking off to scream at us, sleep briefly and repeat. Christmas Day was much better. In terms of the jigsaw, everything fitted; Hugh slept obligingly through the church service and for long enough for us to cook a delicious dinner of partridge, and he was cute and good-natured and cuddly. Today has been easy too. He’s been sleeping a lot – we went for a walk with him in the sling, which tends to put him to sleep. But we’d love to know that there was really a person we might one day talk to beginning to emerge from that sweet, self-absorbed little form…

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Filed under Prawn on the outside

Tags: developmental milestones, hugh, Prawn, smiling, worry